Esme Cullen

Taylor-Rose Thu 03 Jul 2008, 05:33

I have had an uncanny passion for nature and its beauty all throughout my entire existence. It all started when I was sixteen years young. I was deeply fascinated with trees and their strength; and, unfortunately, I paid the price of being too adventurous as a child. After climbing to the top of that magnificent tree and maintaining the proper equilibrium, I suddenly lost my balance and proceeded to fall to Mother Earth, breaking my leg in the process. The pain was near unbearable, I dare say. Do understand that my family and I lived on the very edge of town, out of the way from any nearby hospital, as you can imagine. We set out on our way to the doctor’s, foreseeing an entire day’s travel ahead of us. We arrived at the hospital, just as night fell — the norm doctor was away at the time, as we learned. Instead, the youthful—looking, stand-in doctor Carlisle Cullen treated my wound. He was beautiful, unlike any other I had ever beheld. I will never truly forget that day. I was changed forever; it was love at first sight.
As all of my dear friends married, I could only wallow in my loneliness and self-doubt. I felt considerably empty, considering I have ceased to capture any one male’s attention. Was I undesirable? I had considered such as the cause of my desperation.
But of course, I was happy for their engagements, and I always attended their weddings, for such is what a good friend would do, after all. I tried not to let the bitterness brewing inside of me rise to the surface, where it could have very well taken over. My despair was temporary, I prayed. I kept my emotions under control.
Jealousy has become my constant companion. It became a part of me.

♥ ♥ ♥

then decided to pursue my dream: I wanted to be a schoolteacher. I wished to be able to do some actual good in this evil world, but everything comes at a cost, as I was soon to learn. This time, such would cause more loneliness, as I would have to move to the wilds. I was forced to relocate. Then, amongst my wallowing, however, when I least expected it to happen, the son of a dear family man proposed his heart to me. I was too entirely eager to suppress my father’s urges of pressing me into marrying Charles Evenson. I couldn’t confess to my family (or to even Charles, for that matter) that my heart was merely indifferent towards the fellow. I complied to my father’s wishes, I finally gave in to marriage in 1917, when I was only 22 years of age.
Little did I know that this first—hand experience would scar me for life.

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How I regret that decision even to this day, as he abused me behind closed doors. I dared not leak word of Charles’ fierce tempter, for I did not wish to stir any more trouble than I was already causing. I was raised to be a “good wife” and that I needed to “keep my mouth shut.” And so I did, wanting to make my father proud of my efforts of being a decent wife. Reluctantly, relief overwhelmed me as the monster was drafted to fight in World War I. I thanked God each and every day for the newfound peace He had brought into my life. I could not have been happier; but, all of my dreams were crushed at his return in 1919. My heart sank in my chest, as the routine strikes continued on where they had left off. I can remember not knowing how much longer I could last living in this violent relationship. I did my best to stand strong and hold my ground, despite the constant beatings. I had sworn my heart to the very man I dare say I wished dead. I was violated and have brought disgrace on my family’s name.

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fought against my husband’s abusive grasp in 1920 when I dropped everything and left our dysfunctional home, once I had discovered that a child was taking refuge inside my womb. I felt more complete, despite the emptiness what lingered within my torn heart. I escaped to live with a second cousin in Milwaukee for some time, but I soon moved even further north when word had reached to my parents about my whereabouts. Of course, they were infuriated. I was supposed to be compliant, living happily with my husband elsewhere. I remember formulating a plan that I was to portray a widow who lost her dear husband in battle overseas. And dare I say it was successful for the most part. Then, my life-long dream of teaching young children was finally granted, as I a small community outside Ashland welcomed me with open arms. All was well until my child died of lung infection just a few days after he was born. The emptiness and bitterness had returned. Again, I was left broken and alone.
Was I not granted to have even a sliver of happiness and freedom in my life?

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Needless to say, I found nothing left to live for. I wasn’t granted a happy marriage. I was refuse the child I had been longing for. I was so entirely distraught that I decided my time of death without the consent of anyone on the outside world. I came to the conclusion that I would be better of dead, for only more hardships would find their way into my life, depriving me of happiness. I flung myself off of a cliff to the ragged earth below — a quick and painless passing. Or so I thought... Surprisingly, I awoke with a newfound life. Never again did I expect to see that dazzling face from my childhood.

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I was not too shaken by the fact that I had been turned into that of the undead. It didn’t take long for me to accept my fate as a vampire. I was with Carlisle, and nothing else in the world even seemed to matter. He would surely treat me as a wife deserved to be treated; he took pity on me, after I told him the story of my life. He consoled me and showed me much affection. He was meant for me and I for him. I made an effort to forget about my past and all of its hardships. It would be very much a lie if I say that I don’t remember anything, or that I have forgiven every wrong that has ever been done to be. My heart has since healed over, though the scars are still very much present.

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Ever since the death of my child, there has since been this maternal ache that needs to be quenched. So, as a result of being physically older than the rest of my “family,” my maternal instincts took over, as I am now the mother figure of our happy family. I continuously watch out for them and tend to every need they may have.
They are my life and my world. I will sacrifice everything for their happiness.

♥ ♥ ♥